Are you a pushy parent?
As a parent we all want to do best by our children. We want to protect our children from harm in whatever way possible and we all want to see our children succeed, but at what cost?
I’m not a pushy parent, well at least I don’t think I am. Of course I’ll encourage my children to do their best and help in way I can, but would never ask them to do something they didn’t want to do.
I wrote a post a while ago about the Tiger Mother and her approach to parenting. I found it fascinating to read how she raised her children. She openly admits that she’s a pushy parent, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
You see the majority of people hear the term ‘pushy parent’ and automatically associate it with negativity.
Well, let me tell you a story that may change your opinion of that. The Tiger Mother was teaching her daughter to play piano. Her daughter was really struggling with one particular piece, yet the Tiger Mother was persistent, even instistant that her daughter continue to try again and again and again.
Whilst most parents would probably have wrapped things up and suggested trying again another day, the Tiger Mother continued until her daughter was able to play the piece perfectly.
Had the Tiger Mother given up, wrapped up for the day and said, never mind, we’ll try again tomorrow, then her daughter may never have played that piece.
I imagine the daughter was probably getting pretty bored and frustrated at trying again and again, but the sense of achievement she felt when she could finally play that piece made it all worth it.
The lesson? Practise, never give up and persevere. That way, you can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.
Had she have given up, what lesson would that have taught her daughter?
What do you think now? Are you a pushy parent?
9 Comments
Emma
January 22, 2016 at 8:21 am
I do not like pushy parents but can see your point in the story above. You have to push sometimes for example homework as otherwise it may not get done, your child would get into trouble at school & possibly fall behind. I do feel with extra curricular activities it should be a choice between parent & child. Why make them dance, sing, play piano if they don't want to. Everyone is different though & parenting doesn't come with rules. #binkylinky lifeinthemumslane
Mummy Fever
January 22, 2016 at 11:28 am
I think there is a difference – I don't like pushy parents, especially the ones who push children to do sports or activities just because they used to. BUT it is important to encourage and support and sometimes insist something is done, that's just everyday parenting. There are ways of saying and doing things that can have the same result. #BinkyLinky
Helen Gandy – Beautiful Things
January 22, 2016 at 4:21 pm
I don't think I/we are pushy parents, I strive for Alfie to do his best but would hate to think I'd push him into something he didn't necessarily want to do but if I saw him excel at something I would like to encourage him to continue doing well at it. Thanks for hosting #binkylinky
Hannah Latoya Bond
January 22, 2016 at 6:17 pm
She doesnt sound like one of the bad pushy parents, although there are plenty of them. Some parents get extremely pushy for good grades, they won't tolerate anything less than an A+. Even though a B is a good grade. Being too pushy can really bring a kid down, why cant they just love them as they are x
Sarah Howe
January 22, 2016 at 7:03 pm
I think I may push a bit if my daughter had a talent and was enjoying what she was doing. I wouldn't want to make her do anything as I was forced to keep up with ballet for a while and I didn't want to go. xx #binkylinky
Random Musings
January 23, 2016 at 1:55 am
I'm not a parent so can't really answer that, but I do think there's a difference between forcing your own interests on a child and encouraging them to excel at something they are good at, or pushing them to complete homework etc. Thanks for hosting the #binkylinky
Debbie
Lizzie Grover
January 22, 2016 at 9:23 pm
I really loved reading this. You need to push where necessary (in my opinion), I'm far from a pushy parent, or maybe I am, I guess time will tell. But my hubby is so pushy it drives me crazy. He gets that from his father. So I think I will be reigning in his pushiness on occasions, since it'll be all to do with some sport #binkylinky
Something Crunchy Mummy
January 23, 2016 at 7:44 am
What a great story as its true, never give up. Perseverance pays off. I wouldn't say I'm pushing but I'm a little like the tiger mother as with some things we do we try and try again. #binkylinky xx
Laura Side Street
January 23, 2016 at 4:46 pm
I think there is a huge difference between being pushy and being encouraging – we certainly encourage our son in his interests and if he wants to give a new sport a go or a new hobby we try and make it possible for him but at the end of the day what makes him happy will make us happy and we would never force him to do anything he didn't want to
Laura x