Teaching children about body image can be a pretty tricky subject. At the tender of six, it’s not something I tend to think about talking to our girls about.
However, when M came out school one day, and passed comment about a teachers weight, it made me think twice.
The lady in question was overweight, and I was a tad surprised to hear M say the lady was fat. When we got home, I talked to both of our girls about how every one is different.
Some people are tall, some are short.
Some have blue eyes, brown eyes or green eyes.
Some people have white skin, others have brown skin, and finally some people are bigger than other people, and that’s ok.
I explained that everyone in the world is different. After all, it’d be pretty boring if we were all the same!
We also talked about people’s feelings, in particular about how it’s not polite to pass comment on someone’s appearance.
Of course a compliment about someone’s dress or shoes for example is ok, but passing comment on the way someone looks isn’t ok.
I think it’s really important to stress to children that the most important thing we can be in life is kind, compassionate, honest and caring. To be happy and healthy, and to be aware of the feelings of other people.
I always say to our girls that they should talk to other people the way they want to be spoken to, and this goes for our actions as well. We should treat others, the way we want them to treat us.
Thankfully, our children aren’t exposed to the world of skinny fashion models and celebrities, but I’m more than aware that a time will come when they’ll be all too aware of how important body image can be to some people.
Yes, we need to take pride in our appearance, and that involves maintaining good levels of hygiene, but we also need to take extra care of our bodies to ensure that we’re strong and healthy. That way we can live long, happy lives. There’s a fine balance between being healthy and looking healthy.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
29 Comments
relentlesslypurple
February 20, 2018 at 7:34 am
I totally agree with you. As a teen weight terrified me, food terrified me. I was always tiny looking back so not too sure exactly what triggered me but I have similar conversations with Eva to make sure she realises weight, size & looks aren’t everything. Being kind means more than any of those things, I hope both our girls take in what we say and avoid the pressure.
Tash
February 23, 2018 at 5:10 am
I’m currently 8mth pregnant (and highly emotional, exhausted & impatient) – I’ve been pretty sick this whole pregnancy. One of my biggest pet peeves has been the constant comments on my body “you’re huge, you’re tiny, you look amazing even though you’ve been so sick… etc” it drives me insane. To be honest I don’t care what I look like, I’d rather be happy & healthy than look amazing and feel like rubbish. I hate that there is so much emphasis on people’s appearance. #ThatFridayLinky
Chloe
February 23, 2018 at 7:24 am
Hi, thanks for discussing this topic. I agree that it is important that children should be happy and healthy, and to be aware of the feelings of others #thatfridaylinky
David Pearson
February 23, 2018 at 8:44 am
In my experience, it gets worse – and now the teenagers are really self-aware. We’ve got a bit of an issue with the eldest at the minute and it seems no amount of talking about it during her earlier years has prepared her for it.
#ThatFridayLinky
Daddy Poppins
February 23, 2018 at 8:47 am
It’s great that you’re explaining this to the girls at a young age hopefully it will stand to them.
Enda Sheppard
February 23, 2018 at 9:00 am
Very trie — but it can be a delicate area when we so obviously push them to get plenty of exercise and be in good condition. Oftentimes in a child’s literal mind that is another way of saying out of condition=overweight=bad #ThatFridayLinky
Jamie Beags
February 23, 2018 at 9:15 am
I struggle with my weight and I’ve returned to SlimmingWorld at least 3 times and reached target each time, only to regain the podge. The kids (8 & 9) are quite supportive; they come to SlimmingWorld with me so they get to meet people of all different shapes and I hope that helps them to see that people are all different, but still just as lovely.
Laura Dove
February 23, 2018 at 9:51 am
As a former anorexic (although I’m not sure that it ever goes away completely) the word “fat” doesn’t exist in our house. It’s something I feel very strongly about and yet I know my children see physical differences and question it. Raising our children to know that everyone is different is always a great thing, I always tell my four as long as we are happy and healthy it doesn’t matter what size or shape we come in. Great post #thatfridaylinky
Natasha Mairs
February 23, 2018 at 10:27 am
I agree with you. My daughter is only 8 and keeps asking me if she is pretty. I hate it so much! We should never judge someone on how they look. #ThatFridayLinky
mrs mummy harris
February 23, 2018 at 10:27 am
I’m quite happy that I don’t have a daughter, knowing how I feel about my body and telling her to be proud of hers when I’m not would be hard. But I have three boys who I’ll be raising to love the woman for who she is, not what she looks like, to tell her how beautiful she is everyday whether she believes him or not.
Hubby often tells me to go out and buy myself expensive makeup or a new outfit etc, and when I decline he always asks me why. He wants me to feel good and understands sometimes a shopping trip to get a new eyeshadow pallet, or trainers, or even just a new casual top can make me feel amazing. This is what I want my boys to do and to understand that even if a woman is super self conscious of her body, knowing she is loved for who she is, beats any diet or plastic surgery out there! #thatfridaylinky
Gavin
February 23, 2018 at 11:41 am
Yeah, I agree but I feel like a constantly want to lose a bit… but then food is SOOOOO nice!
Tasker Dunham
February 23, 2018 at 12:04 pm
Self-acceptance is a big part of this – doing your own thing and not being too worried about what the crowd think. Easier said then done. I’m in my sixties, and nearly there.
Martina
February 23, 2018 at 2:08 pm
A great post! I am so much chubbier than I’d like to be, but really try hard not to comment on it in front of the kids. And not to pinch at my fat bits. I try so hard to save this for ‘grown-up time’ (oh, lucky lucky husband).
And we’ve had to have similar discussions about people being different, and hurting people’s feelings.
The whole body image thing is such a minefield. And the kids are only 6 and 4; I am absolutely dreading it when they’re teenagers!
Helen
February 23, 2018 at 2:09 pm
It’s so true – as long as you’re healthy that’s all that matters and that’s the message hopefully our children will live by 🙂 #ThatFridayLinky
Martina
February 23, 2018 at 2:13 pm
Forgot to say that I came via #ThatFridayLinky
The Modern Father
February 23, 2018 at 2:37 pm
We have toddler twin boys, and I already find myself very hesitant to make comments about the way other people look. Besides they whole parrot routine, I’d rather focus on factual ways to describe people, like hair color, clothes, etc.
Sara @ Magical Mama Blog
February 23, 2018 at 4:37 pm
Society has brainwashed so many about body images and commenting. The internet only makes it worse. I think it is so important to sit down with your kids at a young age and get them on the track to being positive, kind, and aware. It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job of it!
#FridayLinky
Shannon|MSnubutterflies
February 23, 2018 at 5:54 pm
Such a valuable lesson for kids to learn early on. Great job Mom! 🙂 #ThatFridayLinky
Carrie
February 23, 2018 at 9:38 pm
Love it! Also a great example on how not to put negative comments out into the world. Due unto others!
Five in the hive
February 23, 2018 at 10:31 pm
I think you’ve handled it well. I always teach my children that yes we are different but that’s ok. They’ve been brought up around people with many different disabilities so they do see most differences as the ‘norm’ but they too have been known to comment on peoples weight when they shouldn’t. #thatfridaylinky
Ross Hunt
February 24, 2018 at 6:55 am
I think this is quite a difficult one, as I’d want my child to respect people and their choices, and know that everyone is different. But at the same time, being really overweight (and by that I mean quite a lot, not something stupid like size 14 that the media seems to think is overweight) isn’t exactly a healthy choice.
I guess I’ll try and teach them about in the same way as smoking. Yes people can choose to smoke, and it’s fine if that’s what they want to do, but it’s not a healthy choice, and being overweight is often a choice, even if it’s not a conscious one.
Jaki
February 25, 2018 at 4:54 pm
Such an important message in this post. Kids pick up things that they hear from others and when I’m the midst of my own feeling ‘fat’ I have to be so careful not to let my little one hear me. I’ve heard the ‘f’ word (not that one!) come out of his mouth a couple of times and have nipped it in the bud straight away. #ThatFridayLinky
Mel
February 25, 2018 at 5:18 pm
We had a similar situation at school. He called one of the teachers fat and I was really stuck for how to approach it. Obviously I did say something and it sounds like I went down the same route as you. A few weeks later I was reading the Mr Men books and through out them they refer to size and shape. Maybe I was more aware of it because of what had gone on earlier but it did shock me to see how many times I have seen it in various kids books since. #ThatFridayLinky
jeremy@thirstydaddy
February 25, 2018 at 8:23 pm
It’s a tricky subject and one I was also surprised to have to deal with at six. My daughter leans a bit towards the heavy side and I worry about her being picked on in the future. Even more so I worry about how she is going to feel about herself in the future #thatfridaylinky
Jo – Pickle and Poppet
February 26, 2018 at 9:21 pm
We’ve had to speak to our little boy as he made a similar comment, we was a little shocked really as it isn’t the type of conversation we expected to be having at 4 and have no idea where he would have heard something like that from. It is worrying how early children seem to be subjected to this kind of thing now. #ThatFridayLinky
Kate
February 28, 2018 at 6:17 pm
Sounds to me like you are instilling some very good values there. We are all different, we do all need to be kinder and more sensitive and I was thinking the other day how we are all fat or we would be in real trouble health-wise. Perhaps that word needs reclaiming in some way #ThatFridayLinky
Musings of a tired mummy…zzz…
February 28, 2018 at 10:31 pm
My children have made very loud and embarrassing comments about people’s weight in the past and we have had to have this same discussion. #thatfridaylinky
Malin, Sensational Learning with Penguin
March 2, 2018 at 3:43 am
Yes… And it can also be hurtful with comments about other things than appearance, of course. Like saying that someone is stupid, slow, wierd, boring or annoying. Maybe they are. But we need to keep in mind how we would feel if those things were said to us. X
#ThatFridayLinky
Out Of Depth Dad
March 7, 2018 at 3:37 pm
Great piece. It’s so important to try and make kids as considerate as possible. Kindness is a really undervalued trait and the earlier we can try to install it in children the better. Thanks for sharing. #ThatFridayLinky