What Are Love Languages?
Whether you’re married, in a long-term relationship or just getting started with someone, it is always wise to work on your relationship!
When it comes to relationships, what makes one partner happy may not be the same for the other. You will probably have experienced this in a relationship of your own at some point; for example, your partner could prefer to express their love through hugging, whereas you may feel love most deeply through loving words.
A popular way of explaining these differences is the concept of ‘love languages’. Learning your love language can be a really great way of understanding your partner better and improving your relationship.
What Are Love Languages?
Love languages comprise of five different ways of expressing and receiving love, with each person thought to have a preferred method. However, whatever your chosen method, the remaining four love languages are still important for a healthy relationship.
While that’s not to say that people with different love languages cannot have a healthy and happy relationship, it does mean that all couples need to work on communicating their needs effectively to their partner to achieve a solid relationship.
What are the Love Languages?
There are five different types of love language. Each person is said to have one favoured kind. That’s not to say you don’t experience feelings of love from the other types, just that there’s one you prefer!
Words of Affirmation
This love language focuses on language itself, in the form of spoken or written word. Examples of this would be hearing your partner say things like ‘I love you’, ‘I appreciate you’ or ‘I’m proud of you’.
This doesn’t always have to be face to face either, as written notes or voice messages with affirmations of love would also count.
Quality Time
If you prefer to spend time with your partner and have them give you their undivided attention, then your love language may be ‘Quality Time’.
Whether you do an activity together, prepare dinner as a couple or share your future plans, quality time is all about enjoying each other’s company, without distractions such as mobile phones and television.
When you have a young family, it can be particularly difficult to find time to spend together, just the two of you. However, it is important to try and set some time aside in an evening to simply spend together.
Acts of Service
Does it fill your heart when you see your partner has helped out around the house? Then your preferred way of showing and receiving love may be through acts of service.
It can be simple things like making the bed in the morning or bigger chores like cleaning the house or running errands. Often, people with this type of love language feel that making your home feel more liveable and cosier, while relieving the number of chores their partner has to do, is the best way to show love.
If your partner’s chosen love language is ‘acts of service’, but you are stuck for ways to show your love to them, then simply ask them for a list or schedule of chores that you can help with.
Such acts are especially valuable to couples with children, as one partner may need a break from housework after a busy day of running around after the kids!
Receiving Gifts
For some, actions speak louder than words. Those with this type of love language feel love through the effort and thought that goes into choosing a gift.
This works both ways, as while people with this love language will enjoy receiving a gift, they like to express their love through giving gifts also. Putting thought into selecting the perfect present is the best way to show they care.
Physical Touch
Physical touch is known to help calm and reassure people, so it is no surprise that holding hands during a conversation or offering a hug is an effective way of showing our love.
Struggling to Express Love?
If you have one love language and your partner has another, there can sometimes be barriers in truly expressing your love, especially if there are other communication issues at play.
Having different needs to your partner shouldn’t mean the end of a relationship, though. Differences in love styles can actually make your relationship stronger, as by meeting your partner’s needs it goes to show you’re putting in more effort than what may come naturally to you!
Communication is key to understanding your partner’s needs and to expressing your own. Many couples do struggle to effectively convey such needs, though, which is why online couples counselling could be of help for some!
So, what is your love language? If you know, then why not leave a comment below to share!
Image credit: Unsplash + Pixabay
